“We Can’t Trust You”: The Insidious Trap of Fear & Doubt

We can’t trust you.

Wait, no. You can’t trust you. For every choice we face, every obstacle we rub up against, we often bury the voice that guides us and instead listen to everyone else.

Not your gut. (That’s what friends are for.)

Not your brain. (Doesn’t society teach us to look outward for answers?)

Not your intuition. (When faced with the hard stuff, aren’t we taught to beg and beseech?)

That intrinsic self-trust tattered and worn in short order morphs into self-doubt. We swallow it like a pill and become diminished versions of our whole selves. Trust becomes slippery, just out of reach. And the issues we face become a hazard to our own self-respect.

Imagine this: a person is pregnant. They are raised in a culture that has spoken into them a sense of certainty, clarity, and wholeness. They are raised to know that they are led, guided, and directed by a power and presence that is transcendent. They honor their intuitive nature by living in reverence of it. They listen deeply…to themSELF.

The pregnancy is unexpected. And yet, they know their soul is available for them. They meditate. They pray. They listen deeply. Not to a father figure in the sky that we’ve armed with judgement, anger, and revenge. But rather to a graceful, loving, generous, and gentle presence that is always available for them. This is their soul. And they have a rich and moving relationship with this aspect of themself and all that is Holy. They cherish their body. They understand its sacred nature. They place their hand on their womb and are led.

And yet here’s what we’re familiar with: a person is pregnant. The pregnancy is unexpected. They are raised to diminish and dilute their authority with every turn. They are indoctrinated into brokenness, shame, and guilt. They are barely familiar with their sacred anatomy. Their most holy regions are named after deceased men. They question their decision making and are haunted by their community’s fears.   

Both people are faced with a choice. When choosing to keep or terminate a pregnancy, it becomes a louder conversation. Not one that is based on what a person desires or senses, but one that the mind has manufactured (and been corroded by)—fear and doubt.

The self-doubt that human beings are raised with, indoctrinated into, and walking around seduced by is toxic. The implications of this internalized self-doubt coupled with an institutionalized narrative of distrust has raised generations of people to outsource their power, security, approval, and control to places and spaces that do not have their highest regard in mind. This structure of fear and distrust is largely unconscious. It is deeply woven into the fabric of humanity so much so that without a persistent practice of awareness, it is unrecognizable. To release the mass adoption of fear and self-doubt will require devotional and vigilant practice. It requires an awakening.

Fear and self-doubt are imbued in the conversation surrounding a person’s right to choose in systemic, complex, subtle, and pervasive ways. We are discussing a person’s capacity to discern what is right and best for their body and their life—actively, in 2018. We are in a national legislative discussion about a person’s body—actively, in 2018. Get that.

I have not heard a single argument opposing a person’s right to choose that is not fundamentally rooted in fear. That fear requires a deep commitment that involves distrust–the distrust of human beings, of life, and of the universe. A collective consciousness rooted in fear and doubt is inherently problematic.

See, this universe is causative, creative, infinite, and generative. Doubt is not the way of the universe. And you and I are reflections of this universe. Which means a chronic commitment to fear and doubt leads us out of alignment—creating dis-ease.

This choice that a person makes in holy relationship with themSELF is worthy of trust. It is intentional. It is quiet. It is sacred—between them and the God of their being. Their community of choice may envelop them in love, in power, and in a deep sense of knowing. Their community is there to know their brilliance. Their community may know them, wholly.

  • Imagine that an honoring, reverent, soulful relationship exists among human beings on this planet.
  • Imagine people and their bodies, trusted.
  • Imagine a person capable, led, guided, and inspired to know deeply what is theirs to do with their body.
  • Imagine a faith that surrenders mortal authority over another and rests in a cosmic presence.
  • Imagine freedom from judgment in every choice.  


**this blog post was written using they/them/their pronouns to acknowledge that not all people that have uteruses identify as women**

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